Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize