I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Is it penis luge time yet?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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