Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
