Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
