I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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