I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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