i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
is it fun? or sober?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
