It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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