Well apparently he's into motor boating.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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