Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
