i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
