If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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