dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize