it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
