I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
