You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
