why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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