She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
