Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
