Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
