I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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