talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
