69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We are two peas in an std pod
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
