one two three fourrrrnication!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
