Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
