doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
