But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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