My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
