The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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