I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
