Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
