Im at strip club and am horny
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
