She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize