Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.