Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.

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  (678): Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box. http://tfl.nu/7k9p
  Replies (12) Good night (831) Bad night (3504)
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  (631): View more from New York

  My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.

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  (631): My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list. http://tfl.nu/ispc
  Replies (23) Good night (850) Bad night (2431)
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  (916): View more from California

  I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.

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  (916): I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum. http://tfl.nu/f301
  Replies (24) Good night (6401) Bad night (830)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".

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  (239): And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine". http://tfl.nu/teku
  Replies (9) Good night (4577) Bad night (847)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?

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  (312): Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo? http://tfl.nu/uk9c
  Replies (33) Good night (3365) Bad night (3682)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.

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  (314): Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning. http://tfl.nu/u08e
  Replies (7) Good night (3389) Bad night (923)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.

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  (270): I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms. http://tfl.nu/29v1
  Replies (18) Good night (1226) Bad night (2769)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.

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  (989): walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too. http://tfl.nu/do4j
  Replies (15) Good night (3133) Bad night (620)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.

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  (503): My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again. http://tfl.nu/bmoz
  Replies (7) Good night (1373) Bad night (436)
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  (714): View more from California

  Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?

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  (714): Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ? http://tfl.nu/wlh8
  Replies (5) Good night (961) Bad night (390)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.

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  (775): If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs. http://tfl.nu/o8sz
  Replies (1) Good night (851) Bad night (294)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯

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  (936): We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯ http://tfl.nu/ljn4
  Replies (4) Good night (486) Bad night (331)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.

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  (318): Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows. http://tfl.nu/7891
  Replies (0) Good night (593) Bad night (348)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut

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  (402): sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut http://tfl.nu/dm9v
  Replies (6) Good night (312) Bad night (593)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time

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  (973): Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time http://tfl.nu/0f26
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (229)

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