Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.