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• (917): View more from New York City

  It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...

  (214): View more from Texas

  Was she wearing cherry chapstick??

  (972): View more from Texas

  No. Life's not always a fairytale.....

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (512): View more from Texas

  When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  We're using joints as your birthday candles

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"

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• (914): View more from New York

  I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts

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• (214): View more from Texas

  We can put you in charge of something

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something

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