The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
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Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
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we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.