I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
