Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  $35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.

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  (309): $35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively. http://tfl.nu/sa2o
  Replies (6) Good night (1250) Bad night (540)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I can't breathe out the right side of my face

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  (646): I can't breathe out the right side of my face http://tfl.nu/2qbr
  Replies (5) Good night (719) Bad night (1964)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself

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  (902): she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself http://tfl.nu/wlq8
  Replies (1) Good night (727) Bad night (2614)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?

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  (571): is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided? http://tfl.nu/vrm3
  Replies (8) Good night (3258) Bad night (930)
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  (516): View more from New York

  please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.

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  (516): please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself. http://tfl.nu/xysw
  Replies (6) Good night (656) Bad night (4452)
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  (914): View more from New York

  threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student

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  (914): threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student http://tfl.nu/czt4
  Replies (24) Good night (4957) Bad night (1119)
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  (619): View more from California

  surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.

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  (619): surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk. http://tfl.nu/u5eo
  Replies (4) Good night (1177) Bad night (3298)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.

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  (832): My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking. http://tfl.nu/1gc1
  Replies (4) Good night (2081) Bad night (656)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.

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  (785): Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer. http://tfl.nu/7lxv
  Replies (15) Good night (5709) Bad night (1141)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.

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  (214): One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair. http://tfl.nu/h2x0
  Replies (5) Good night (2669) Bad night (916)
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  (347): View more from New York

  When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards

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  (347): When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards http://tfl.nu/auk4
  Replies (10) Good night (1403) Bad night (671)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.

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  (731): Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze. http://tfl.nu/erxr
  Replies (1) Good night (2078) Bad night (451)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.

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  (352): This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza. http://tfl.nu/8owv
  Replies (2) Good night (930) Bad night (425)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20

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  (218): legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20 http://tfl.nu/k23v
  Replies (11) Good night (326) Bad night (797)
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  (650): View more from California

  So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?

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  (650): So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination? http://tfl.nu/zisu
  Replies (2) Good night (218) Bad night (461)

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