wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
