I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
