I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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