I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
