i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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