I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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