Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
