I'm jealous of your bromance
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize