check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
