if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You made out with two different species that night
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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