What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
