Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
