Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
