What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
People in love make me want to vomit
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
