Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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