at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
