Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
