some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
that may or may not have been my penis.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
