I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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