It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
