Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize