apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
