Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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