In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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