I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
