Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
