Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
