Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
