9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
