Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
