you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
