I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
