Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
