Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
