I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize